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i'll call you when i touch back down

by earl patrick

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1.
step off the plane, a suitcase and guitar a worn-out cliche through a revolving door look at the jetway, look at it my way, already burnt out, it's time to fade up the lights and get things started love's not for me, i am faint of heart i hate hard work, i'm hardly working but i'm almost happy if they'd just fade up the lights i'll sing my life, if no one listens i'll hit the bar, get myself pissed then walk 'round the town with my head full of flames imagine the pleasure, imagine the fame how the lights would get things started love's not for me, i am faint of heart i hate hard work, i'm hardly working but i'm almost happy if they'd just fade up the lights there's a sweet spot in my mind where i'd get everything for what i gave so i lie to myself until it's time hoping time and distance will make it fade and the lights would get things started love's not for me, i am faint of heart i hate hard work, i'm hardly working but i'm almost happy if they'd just fade up the lights and get things started love's not for me, i am faint of heart i hate hard work, i'm hardly working but i'm almost happy if you'd just fade up the lights
2.
in the middle of winter, foxes hunt in the snow. the ground is covered. what they need is below. i'm making angels from the ache in my bones. there'd be birds in the sky, if my eyes weren't closed. i know you love me so why can't i feel it? why's the memory not there? why's the house so empty? in the middle of winter, there's a fire in the hearth. i can see it from outside like you can see through my heart. what does life imitate? are we image or art? what stays in the middle when everything pulls apart. i know you love me so why can't i feel it? why's the memory not there? why's the house so empty? i want to live in a world without winter where the hills are on fire like september. why is your love so hard to remember? why must i live in the middle of winter, ...foxes hunt in the snow. the ground is covered. what they need is below. i'm making angels from the ache in my bones. there'd be birds in the sky, if my eyes weren't closed.
3.
i had a fever dream about you, and you looked just like sylvia plath. i ran my fingers up and through your hair, you put some chopin on your phonograph. we sat on my mother's couch, and we were acting like addicts again. yeah - i could not let go of you, and you kept cutting your legs with a fountain pen. and i woke up in a hot sweat all twisted in the sheets, and my stomach held the fear that my heart likes to believe. i had a fever dream about you, and you hated me and called me weak. and still i could not let go of you so i reached up to kiss your cheek. i sat there in my father's chair (you said i looked like kerouac), and as you turned and walked away from me, well, i just begged you to come back and i woke up in a hot sweat all twisted in the sheets, and my stomach held the fear that my heart likes to believe. i had a fever dream about you, and i died so you could live. and as i sank into the sea, i watched the sunlight pour around your head. you knew well what i had done, and you loved me just the same. i was happy to have known you, and so proud to choose your name. and i woke up in a hot sweat all twisted in the sheets, and my stomach held the fear that my heart likes to believe. and if i said i wouldn't die for you, i'd be lying through my teeth, but a lie makes things so simple when the truth is hard to feel.
4.
thirty-thousand feet over snow capped peaks and a lake in the folds between. i miss you again (all over again). i'm on a plane. you know what i mean. there's water in the air. it makes a shape around the wings. i miss you most on mondays; it touches everything. you know the place we used to meet, out on the eastern end of town? i can see those city lights; i'll call you when i touch back down. between us now this space and time. between us now your place and mine. even still you haunt my mind and i will call you when i touch back down. you know the place we used to meet, out on the eastern end of town? i can see those city lights; i'll call you when i touch back down.
5.
i was looking for some shelter. you were out there in the storm. i was hoping for a lover. you wanted something warm. the country stretched between us, all those fields of gold and bronze. we were hurting for each other, we were out to do some harm. it was cold on the night i got to town. you were always cold, it was a hard thing to find out. i was running from the country, just like you ran from everything. i was thin worn out and hungry, you were thin and that was it. the subway stretched between us, just like a wall divides a house. we could never get together, i went north while you went south. it was cold on the night i got to town. you were always cold, it was a hard thing to find out. all that's left between us are these fields of gold and bronze, sometimes i think i miss you but i know it's too far gone. it was cold on the night i got to town. you were always cold, it was a hard thing to find out.
6.
i grind my teeth at night; something coming up from inside, the story of a life, the secrets that we hide. in the old apartment, i ran my fingers 'round the walls. peeling paint and nail holes, no sign we ever had our faults. i grind my teeth at night. something has gone wrong. when i'm awake it's fine, but i can't stay wake for long. rocks come through the hillside, as water takes the hillside down. i never thought we'd come back here; just another worn out mill town. at night i hear the dogs all howl. they buried plans and then forgot. the stars were so much brighter then, at least that's what i thought. i grind my teeth at night. i wonder what's gone wrong. when i'm awake it's fine, but i can't stay awake for long. rain's gonna take this hillside down we better get out, we better get out. rain's gonna take this whole damn town. we've got to get out, we've got to get out. rain's gonna take this hillside down we better get out, we better get out. rain's gonna take this whole damn town. we've got to get out, we've got to get out. in the old apartment, i ran my fingers 'round the walls. peeling paint and nail holes, no sign we ever fought at all.
7.
there was a time when you wanted less (or something different anyway). there was a time when you gave your best when you were indifferent to the pain. but twenty years is a long, long time - are you living for a shell? or were you born at the wrong time? only time will tell. what's left to dream for the salary man a drink in the evening all that's left of the plan you once had. there was a time when the world was dimmer you can see it in the photographs. even in the heat of summer, there was less color in the past. now everything that was black & white is infrared or ultraviolet. and no matter how you try, it all fades out in twilight. what's left to dream for the salary man a drink in the evening all that's left of the plan you once had. there was a time when you believed. there was a time you wanted it. all that's left is the shadow of the thing, so why the hell are you haunted by it?

credits

released March 20, 2014

written performed and engineered by earl patrick
mixed and mastered by keiffer infantino at burn the sails, nashville, tn

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earl patrick Portland, Oregon

Songwriter, composer & multi-instrumentalist Earl Patrick has been quietly making independent records for over 20 years. For a sample of suggested listening: Four phases (classical piano) | I'll call you when i touch back down (bedroom pop) | songs from a blue room (indie rock - solo guitar & voice) ... more

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