We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

songs from a blue room

by earl patrick

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $8 USD  or more

     

1.
i walk these empty streets passed car lots filled with weeds passed junkies filled with need and they can see i need it to come upon a house on fire the flames just flicker off my eyes my thoughts twist up like wire and all that i can see is you i can't go back to west virginia, and i'm okay with that. i can't go back to west virginia. nothing ever seems to last the thirty-three runs slow the thirty-four runs home my memories run cold my mood goes with the seasons you missed our stop again you missed our stop again you missed our sop again yeah, yeah - you said you had your reasons i can't go back to boston. i hate it when you go. i can't go back to cambridge, and i can't stand to be alone. when your voice was warm, it was always home. i can't go back to brooklyn, and it makes me very sad. i can't go back to brooklyn. you were the best i ever had.
2.
we grew up too fast. it was a different age. half a lifetime's not enough. half a life is not enough, and you've been on my mind. the weight is heavy. you've been on my mind, and the weight is heavy there. i don't want to feel this anymore. i wish that you had come around. i'm having trouble sleeping, and i wish that you had come around. i don't want to be here anymore. i wish that you had come around. i was having problems of my own, but i guess i should have come around. we grew up too fast. it was a bitter age. half a lifetime was enough. what was it that was not enough? you've been on my mind. the weight is heavy. you've been on my mind, and the wind falls heavy there. i don't want to feel this anymore. i wish that you had come around. i'm having trouble sleeping, and i wish that you had come around. i don't want to be here anymore. i wish that you had come around. i was having problems of my own, but i guess i should have come around. it's a long way down, and i wish i would have come around. i don't want to feel this anymore. i wish that you had come around. i'm having trouble sleeping, and i wish that you had come around. i don't want to be here anymore. i wish that you had come around. i was having problems of my own, but i guess i should have come around.
3.
you've sold it all (even your hair) you can't quit, but you won't win you've got a thousand mile stare and you can see beyond the wind the candy corn was pretty there are no seeds without some sin and you think no one ever gets you so you give them everything when is fighting "fighting", and when is it just dumb what is the difference between letting go and giving up and what if no one's listening to anything you've done if you beat your head against the wall, how long 'til it's not fun you work three jobs, you walk the line you can't quit 'cause you need the cash some for life and some for love and some to make a name that lasts your exodus was brilliant put down on sealing wax with strings and you think everyone should get you so you give them everything when is fighting "fighting", and when is it just dumb what is the difference between letting go and giving up and what if no one's listening to anything you've done if you beat your head against the wall, how long 'til it's not fun i've been watching and waiting and i can't figure it out i have so much to say but instead i shut my mouth i've been waiting and i've been wanting can you help me kill this thing if you give me money, i will sell my pain. i swear i'll give you everything. when is fighting "fighting", and when is it just dumb what is the difference between letting go and giving up and what if no one's listening to anything i've done if you beat your head against the wall, how long 'til it's not fun
4.
she was a baseball player from the neighborhood stick for a bat and she could swing it good she always did the things her mother said she should like speak softly, speak softly. in the mornings, if she'd come to class she'd sit beside me and she'd always ask was she handsome and could she pass and could she show me, could she show me she was the fastest round the bases she loved diamonds but hated bracelets in the back of the bus she took me many places and when she kissed you, you could taste it we were just kids in a catholic school playing grown up games with our made up rules we were in choir when it wasn't cool and we'd sign holy, holy, holy late at night she'd call me on the phone we had each other and our broken homes she had her stick but her dad had stones and she say hold me, can you please hold me she was the fastest round the bases she loved diamonds but hated bracelets in the back of the bus she took me many places and when she kissed you, you could taste it ave maria gratia plena hail mary full of grace hail mary full of grace she was the fastest round the bases she loved diamonds but hated bracelets in the back of the bus she took me many places and when she kissed you, you could taste it
5.
when she needed you when she was so confused when the city left her bruised well that was when she needed you in a house that was too quiet even the phone stayed silent and the days all passed in twilight in a house that was too quiet and she wishes she could tell you that she's over it but she can't, because she's not she wishes you would tell her to get over it but you won't, you don't talk when she needed you when she was black and blue and you waited for the proof well that was when she needed you in a house that was too quiet she wrote stories just to try it they were dark and you stayed silent in a house that was too quiet and she wishes she could tell you that she's over it but she can't, because she's not she wishes you would tell her to get over it but you won't, you don't talk this is not a love song. it's always about love. there is nothing left to say. you never said that much.
6.
you're like a second story man on the walls i've built. you infect my mind, you're always looking for the same thrill. you mapped out my life. you drew it in the sand, but i've kept the grains you swept away. i'll ruin what you've planned. the tide is closing in. it's too late to learn to swim. can't you hear it whispering, "we're going in" you're the third man on the match, and i've got you in my sights. i can pull the trigger; i can make this right tonight. you're standing on the shore, staring back land. the sun rises behind you and your shadow hits the sand. the tide is closing in. it's too late to learn to swim. can't you hear it whispering, "we're going in" you're the fourth horseman, and i'm this twisted angel. i've been judging myself for so long now that it's no longer painful. you mapped out my life. you drew it in the sand, but i've kept the grains you swept away. i swear i'll ruin everything you've planned. the tide is closing in. it's too late to learn to swim. can't you hear it whispering, "we're going in"
7.
broke down on the side of the road, but we almost made it. we almost made it home. tell me there's a place where the ache in your bones becomes as weightless as the moment you let go. your skirt was up around your waist and you almost made me, you almost made me weight. tell me there's a place and tell me why you stayed. you'll have to say it, because i can't read your face. there is a sadness that i would like to move beyond. i have my moments, but they are brief and then they're gone. can you please tell me, do you where i belong? i've either missed it, or it's been right here all along the part in your hair and the shape of your eyes, there's a moment and a place i long to find. lately it's been a lot of trying to get by, but lord the part in your hair and the shape of your eyes. there is a sadness that i would like to move beyond. i have my moments, but they are brief and then they're gone. can you please tell me, do you where i belong? i've either missed it, or it's been right here all along how do you put up with me, even i get tired of all my needs? how do you put up with me, even i'm so tired of everything i need? there is a sadness that i would like to move beyond. i have my moments, but they are brief and then they're gone. can you please tell me, do you where i belong? i've either missed it, or it's been right here all along
8.
these walls won't talk and neither will i. time heals time and the secrets stay lost. in the cold morning sun, i asked you. i asked you. you avoided the truth just like you've always done. tell me does summer still smell the same, and if you keep one name can i keep the other? all of these questions dividing like cancer. what is the answer? it's all such a mess. i would rather not go, though i wish that i did though you wish that i did, though i wish that i did. i would rather not go, this house is not home. your house is not home, and i would rather not go. time cycles by past the place where i lived but i dreamt too big, oh i dreamt too big and the mind it says you never will, you never did oh you never will, because you never did i would rather not go, though i wish that i did though you wish that i did, though i wish that i did. i would rather not go, this house is not home. your house is not home, and i would rather not go.
9.
police boats on the river spinning blue light on the water. the bridge arcs slowly over it's the shape of your life story. the dusk is filled with silence. it reminds me of our father. i have to stop and listen because simple things destroy me. i've spent some time lying down; never sleeping, always speaking. i give someone our money and hope she tells me what i'm thinking. it's awfully hard to say this but i think we might be through. you write a song for me and i will write a song for you. or you can write your one act play and i'll act the role i'm cast into, you can pretend you never loved me, and i'll pretend the same for you. i've spent some time lying down; never sleeping, always speaking. i give someone our money and hope she tells me what i'm thinking. if you can play the stoic, well then i will play the weakling. we can meet for drinks and then discuss why we are drinking. but why now after all these years?
10.
i can see it in your tired face and the way you look across the room. morning is the time i love you best. i miss you in the afternoon. if there was a way to set it all straight, i wonder if we would take it. there are so many nights that i lie awake wanting back time i've wasted. and i hate to be the one to say it (i hate to be the one to hate), but i don't know if there's a way to save this - if there is a way to set it all straight. i can see it in the way you look, when you look at me across the room. morning is the time i love you best, i lose you in the afternoon. if there was a way to set it all straight, i wonder if we would take it. there are so many nights that i lie awake wanting back time i've wasted. and i hate to be the one to say it (i hate to be the one you hate), but i don't know if there's a way to save this - if there is a way to set it all straight. i can see right behind your eyes, even if you're scared to speak the truth. morning is the time i love you best, i don't even know you by the afternoon.
11.
seven years silent and seven years gone. when we went upriver, we went arm in arm. armed to the teeth, but our teeth were gone. we were armed to the teeth, but our teeth were gone. what would i do if i could do it over, if i'd known then in whom to trust? what would i change if i could change it now? i'd change everything but us. i'm tired of wasting, i'm tired of wasted. of time spent killing time to change it. money is the root of everything i've traded, of everything i'm wasting, of everything i've wasted. what would i do if i could do it over, if i'd known then in whom to trust? what would i change if i could change it now? i'd change everything but us. seven years silent and seven years gone. when we went upriver, we went arm in arm. armed to the teeth, but our teeth were gone. we were armed to the teeth, but our teeth were gone.
12.
anne hedonia was a pretty girl but i never saw her smile. she wore black skirts and ripped up shirts.. she had these violet eyes. we grew up together in a cold october town, where the fire had burnt out and the theaters all closed down. she used to whisper in my ear the softest sweetest things. she'd tell me that she loved me and kiss me in between. could you tell me that you love me and kiss me like you mean it? it's monday morning, i drag myself out of bed with this aching disease; this aging in my head. i rub my eyes, blink them twice, brush my teeth and smile nice - too late to shower, that's the story of my life. anne hedonia was a pretty girl, but i never saw her smile. she always drank her coffee black. she had these violent eyes. we grew up together in this cold october town where the sun was never out and the firehouse burnt town. she used to whisper in my ear the softest sweetest things. she'd tell me that she loved me and kiss be in between. could you tell me that you love me and kiss me like you mean it? it's monday morning, i drag myself out of bed with this aching disease; this aging in my head. i rub my eyes, blink them twice, brush my teeth and smile nice - too late to shower, that's the story of my life. anne hedonia was a pretty girl, but she always made me cry. she'd hold me as i sobbed and kiss away the light. i grew up clinging to here in this dark october town, and she always put my fire out when i tried to burn it down. she'd push herself into me and say the sweetest things. she'd tell me that she loved me and kiss me in between. could you tell me that you love me and kiss me like you mean it? it's monday morning, i drag myself out of bed with this aching disease; this aging in my head. i rub my eyes, blink them twice, brush my teeth and smile nice - too late to shower, that's the story of my life.
13.
maria woke up lonely in a strange hotel and couldn't remember how she'd gotten there. she counted up the money on the nightstand, and it added up to a cold breakfast and bus fare. she threw the empty bottles in the trash. she threw up last night's excess in the sink. she locked the bathroom door and got undressed, and got into the shower so she could think. as the steam rose up she said a silent prayer; a simple set of words she'd learned when she was young. she felt something shifting in the air. she wasn't sure, but she thought it felt like love. percy was a night clerk in an old hotel. for thirty years he'd punched out at six a.m. he held the lobby door as he was leaving, for a woman who was drunk when she checked in. then he got onto the number twenty bus and took the old worn seat he liked the best. with his hand he felt the cancer in his gut and told himself he wasn't scared of death. as the door swung shut he said a silent prayer; a simple set of words he'd learned when he was young. he felt something shifting in the air. he wasn't sure, but he thought it felt like love. danny was the driver on the twenty bus. he'd moved up from somewhere in the south. and though he never said just what it was he left behind, you could see it in the way he held his mouth. that night he made a call he'd longed to make, and shook to hear her voice come through the phone. he wept until the pain had left him spent, and then started making plans to move back home. as the night closed in he said a silent prayer; a simple set of words he'd learned when he was young. he felt something shifting in the air. he wasn't sure, but he thought it felt like love.

about

"you burn with hunger for food that does not exist."
"the burning doesn't go away?"
"what fire dies when you feed it? the truth will set you free, but not until it is finished with you."

- david foster wallace

credits

released October 17, 2013

written and performed by earl patrick
recorded by mike coykendall
mixed by keiffer infantino
mastered by carl saff

license

tags

about

earl patrick Portland, Oregon

Songwriter, composer & multi-instrumentalist Earl Patrick has been quietly making independent records for over 20 years. For a sample of suggested listening: Four phases (classical piano) | I'll call you when i touch back down (bedroom pop) | songs from a blue room (indie rock - solo guitar & voice) ... more

contact / help

Contact earl patrick

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Report this album or account

If you like earl patrick, you may also like: