to fall again

by earl patrick & dear francis

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about

a wind has blown the rain away and blown the sky away and all the leaves away, and the trees stand. i think i too have known autumn too long

- e.e. cummings

credits

released March 1, 2003

earl patrick - guitars/vocals
craig hamblin - upright bass
laird novak - drums

engineered by mark frethem

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earl patrick California

dark. soulful. confessional. indie-pop. songwriter. singer. music & words. words & music. stories.

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Track Name: amica
row upon row of white tombstones, a murder of crows in the sky. knife-jack my breath, crack my secret heart; i've come for the dead that are mine.

gloria, domina. gloria, amica.

the shards in her hand are the face of God. who here can see who is blind? bloodlines cross lifelines cross my mind, if i'm hurting then i know that i'm fine.

gloria, domina. gloria, amica.

the silence here holds me down under, i'm drowning in nothing but time. i touch the stone, cold as your eyes were. i run my fingers over the lines.

gloria, domina. gloria, amica.
Track Name: black & white films
her hair was the color of indian summer. you'd try to speak and couldn't even get one word. try to recall now, you're always unsure what took you from strangers to foolish young lovers. she was your world, you were here satellite. you were so blind you were shutting your eyes. she was a shooting star across your hot-summer life.

she had a taste for black and white films with sad story endings. you know how that is, because she made your life a black and white film. but you never thought that she'd end it like this.

she left you like sunlight from a room at dusk, sweeping across your shipwrecked love. the only person you thought you could trust, became the one thing that you couldn't give up. you spent days in bed, you threw out your phone, you drank all the wine you could get your hands on. but you couldn't ignore the blade in your heart, as cold as the snow.

she had a taste for black and white films with sad story endings. you know how that is, because she made your life a black and white film. but you never thought that she'd end it like this.

on an empty highway, your high beams on. trying to block out, the fact that she's gone. the radio's screaming another sad song, and you're driving too fast, pretending your strong. the path of your lights, runs over the pavement, you practice the words, you wish you could say them, but all of the while your mind just burns with her name.

she had a taste for black and white films with sad story endings. you know how that is, because she made your life a black and white film. but you never thought that she'd end it like this.
Track Name: what am i saying
no matter how much sugar i put in my coffee, it doesn't get sweet enough. no matter how much air i seem to breathe, i can't get enough oxygen into my blood. and if i wake up again with sunlight on my face, i'm going to march outside and put those clouds back into place.

what am i saying, what have i done? falling in love was never that much fun.

lately, the dark gray rain is like an old friend; the kind that you thought you might never see again. the dead lie all around you know, it all comes back again. but everybody dies a little every now and then.

what am i saying, what have i done? falling in love was never that much fun.

i've broken all the locks on all your doors and melted every key. you'll find me sleeping on your floor after a quarter after three, and if you want to lay down too - well, that's alright with me. frankly, i've given up on ever getting any sleep.

what am i saying, what have i done? falling in love was never that much fun.
Track Name: three thousand miles
i feel like i've been standing still; inspiration left when you did. i was just a sad voyeur. when you left, you took the air. no more of this waiting game (i never was a patient man). i never should have said goodbye. i never should have said goodbye.

i'm gonna go three thousand miles at once, i'm gonna do the things i should have done. i'm gonna cross the country on a train, if you're not there than i'll walk back again. i'm gonna go three thousand miles at once, i'm gonna do the things i should have done. and if i find you, i'll never leave again. i know now the things you knew back then.

you were a beautiful wide-eyed girl, like a secret overheard. the softest note from a violin. a ghost in daylight, a gossamer thing. you don't notice the air you breathe until it's full of smoke and heat. we are all such blinded fools. we are all such blinded fools.

i'm gonna go three thousand miles at once, i'm gonna do the things i should have done. i'm gonna cross the ocean on a plane, if you're not there than i'll swim back again. i'm gonna go three thousand miles at once, i'm gonna do the things i should have done. and if i find you, i'll never leave again. i know now the things you knew back then.

you left no hint when you went away, but i'll find you all the same, if i have to search the world three times over. i've got more will than the world has, only time passes through my hands. each breath i draw it brings me closer.

each breath i draw it brings me closer.
Track Name: stuck inside the crush
her disease in my body. i feel it creeping, seeping farther. hear her wheeze, i know she's sorry. frankly, i'm surprised it even bothered her. a gift of passion i regret. it's plain i need to change the past. rewind the tape and hit reset. her disease is spreading fast.

i know it's a mistake, but i'm caught up in the rush. you can't see out when you're stuck inside the crush.

underneath the white moonlight, it should be me that's getting hurt. all i know is some will try and never find the right words. i suppose in some ways it's best; he'll never have to feel the disease. he can smile with the strength in his chest while i'm falling down on my knees.

i know it's a mistake, but i'm caught up in the rush. you can't see out when you're stuck inside the crush.

i'm tired of feeling stupid, i want to feel numb. i don't want to be the person that you're afraid to trust. i'm tired of hurting the people that i'm supposed to love. i'm tired of feeling stupid, i want to feel numb.

i know it's a mistake, but i'm caught up in the rush. you can't see out when you're stuck inside the crush.
Track Name: superhero
Jenny’s a small quiet girl
She lives in her own quiet world
The neighbors all say she is stranger than snow in
She’s no more than twelve years old
She told me once be bold but not too bold
She keeps the windows open for the day that she learns how to fly

When I met her she was on the peak of the roof
Shining her flashlight into the night sky
She said she was bringing down proof
And someone to take her away at the same time

I’m going to be a superhero
I’m going to save the world
I’m going to be a superhero
Because I’m tired of being a small quiet girl
I’m going to be a superhero
I’ve got my costume and my secret hideout
I’m waiting on radiation
To bring my powers out

She’s got a sidekick named Frost
She says he’s a boy but he can be taught
I guess I can’t see him cause I don’t know how to look
She walks by my house everyday
Her head’s always down as if to pray
What people call strange, I’d call misunderstood

And some kids are so much more than cruel
And words hurt more than stones ever could
But she says that they are the fools
And one day soon she’s going to get them good, she says

I’m going to be a superhero
I’m going to save the world
I’m going to be a superhero
Because I’m tired of being a small quiet girl
I’m going to be a superhero
I’ve got my costume and my secret hideout
I’m waiting on radiation
To bring my powers out

Jenny and Frost have a plan
She tried to explain but I didn’t understand
She said she’d tell me again, if I made her a strong cup of tea
She’s got bruises a new shade of blue
She says her parents don’t know because they don’t want to
But she tells me not to worry that soon she’ll be stronger than me

And we go up on the peak of the roof
And we shine our flashlights into the night sky
I guess that we’re looking for truth
And someone to take us away at the same time

I’m going to be a superhero
I’m going to save the world
I’m going to be a superhero
Because I’m tired of being a small quiet girl
I’m going to be a superhero
I’ve got my costume and my secret hideout
I’m waiting on snake bites and lightning
To bring my powers out
Track Name: queen anne's lace
can you breathe? can you speak? can you sleep at night when you think of me? is it conceit or deceit; when you lie to yourself, darling who is it that you cheat?

i am a ghost train running down the rails of your spine. i am a memory, eating away the back of your mind. i am disease, killing softly in my time. i am the love lost that you will never find.

a broken face, the bitter taste of iron dripping down your throat, your necklace made from queen anne's lace. take it all before i fall. when the winter comes, my shattered rib will be your china doll.

i am a ghost train running down the rails of your spine. i am a memory, eating away the back of your mind. i am disease, killing softly in my time. i am the love lost that you will never find.

i take back everything i ever said, and i close my mouth forever. i take back everything i ever did, and i bind my hands together.

i am a ghost train running down the rails of your spine. i am a memory, eating away the back of your mind. i am disease, killing softly in my time. i am the love lost that you will never find.
Track Name: she hangs the moon
i follow her like a raincloud, like she is my one true north. her hair shines like iron, i could lay in it for days. she's as soothing as the ocean. i long to swim in her seas. it's the color of a newborn's eyes and warmer than the summer rain.

she hangs the moon, she puts it up on a wire, lights up my world and shines brightest in the rain. she hangs the moon, sometimes i have trouble sleeping so i stare until it's gone with day.

sometimes i just watch her sleep, afraid she'd disappear if i turned away. i can't believe she's laying next to me; if i think about it too long, i forget to breathe. if angels sleep, this is what they look like; a gentle smile at the memory of wings. her eyelids flutter like a moth in the summer, and i hold her afraid to let go.

she hangs the moon, she puts it up on a wire, lights up my world and shines brightest in the rain. she hangs the moon, sometimes i have trouble sleeping so i stare until it's gone with day.

there aren't enough words to tell her: no sonnets, no verses, no poems. there's nothing to say that i haven't, i only hope i've said enough. i follow her like a raincloud, like she is my one true north. she's a river in the desert. she's the desert when you're waist deep in snow.

she hangs the moon, she puts it up on a wire, lights up my world and shines brightest in the rain. she hangs the moon, sometimes i have trouble sleeping so i stare until it's gone with day.
Track Name: if not for that line
dancing all night in stolen bowling shoes. just you and i in thrift shop apparel, oh - but, no.

you'd attend nursing school and i would support you. i'd work a job i hated just to love you, oh - but, no.

i would lay next to you, we'd laugh 'til the tears flowed. you are the one with whom i feel at home - but, no.

our walks by the river so far from me now. if not for that line, i'd follow you home. but, no.
Track Name: running scared
underneath an october sky, we lay on our backs counting satellites. and everything was so real then, the scent of your hair and the touch of your skin. we were up on your roof, outside of your room. we were so young, i was so confused. you said i could stay (i wanted to stay), but at three a.m. i slipped out and i walked home across town.

i couldn't see through the tears in my eyes. and i thought i couldn't breathe but it turned out to be just the way that you moved your hair. i couldn't see despite the moon in the sky. in the middle of somewhere at three a.m., i was eighteen and running scared.

when i think of you now, i think of that bridge and it's whitewashed railings where we first kissed. or the shower at night where you taught me to please you, and still i went looking for something to see through. of all the regrets i have yet to forget, it's my memories of you that just rage on unchecked. but you'll never know. no - you'll never know now, because i haven't seen you since the night that i left you.

i couldn't see through the tears in my eyes. and i thought i couldn't breathe but it turned out to be just the way that you moved your hair. i couldn't see despite the moon in the sky. in the middle of somewhere at three a.m., i was eighteen and running scared.

what would i say with all these years gone by, if i had to explain the state of my once younger mind? i guess that i was scared and quietly dying inside, and for what it's worth - i hope you found a love better than mine.

i couldn't see through the tears in my eyes. and i thought i couldn't breathe but it turned out to be just the way that you moved your hair. i couldn't see despite the moon in the sky. in the middle of somewhere at three a.m., i was eighteen and running scared.

underneath an october sky, we lay on our backs counting satellites.